Thursday, 24 June 2010

Victoria's Secret

There were more than enough signs that today I was being called to spend time reflecting and rekindling childhood spirit.

It began this morning as I sat out on the front porch eating my breakfast and I spotted a little chap plodding down the street towards me. He seemed completely lost in his own world, ambling away, nodding his head from side to side with a big goofy grin on his face, completely on his own and carrying nothing. I think he could've quite possibly have been the happiest little soul on the planet at that given moment. I couldn't help but beam at him when he got level with me, he faltered a minute like I'd interrupted his thoughts before sticking a chubby paw in the air to say hi and smiled back before carrying on his way.
I knew today was going to be good after that.

After getting myself dressed I positioned myself back on the front and contemplated responding to a load of worky type e-mails but then I watched a piece of paper flutter down the street, normally I'd dismiss it as paraphernalia but it stopped level with the front door and I took that as a sign to investigate further. It turned out to be a piece of maths homework belonging to "Victoria" who (by judging by the level of complexity and the handwriting) can't have been more than 7. I kept it.

Today couldn't have been more picture perfect really, a really delicious blue sky with clouds that would not have been out of place in a child colouring book but with a considerably cheeky level of wind. After watching the lines of school kids (with the odd wave) saunter passed our house to head back to school I decided that I must go and play in this wind. Taking cue from Miss Victoria I decided that I too was going to sack off anything I should've been doing and let it flutter about in cyber space for a bit - I was going to go to the park.

After packing myself off with a "juice box" and miniature picnic I skipped off down the street with the wind merrily and frequently blowing my dress up around my face (much to the delight of passing truck drivers I'm sure). Passed a new house being built that I fantasised living one day, played pretend in my head (it was pink - how could I not) and I arrived at Riverside Park with a rather silly level of excitement. I was going to run about with no shoes on if I wanted and play on the swings! I couldn't help but have a moment of anxiety and insecurity - I am a 21 year old woman - I'm not actually a child anymore and never will be again.

After deciding to sit a while to collect myself a little I watched a little boy clamber around on a climbing frame and with a note of amusement observed his interaction as another cute little fellow toddled over to play in the area. The pair regarded each other with an element of hesitation and carried on playing individually but frequently looking over at one another. It took the whole of three minutes before they were together building in the sand around the swings and jabbering away. I smiled to myself thinking how such trust and interaction just doesn't happen between adults these days, I admired their ease and uniting in the common need to play and play well. Why must we lose these qualities? Why did I have hesitations because of what other people may think? If I wanted to run about with no shoes on and play on the swings why shouldn't I? What happens to us as we get older? Why do other people's opinions matter more than doing what makes us feel free and happy?

I took my shoes off in defiance (hell I'd have taken all my clothes off if I hadn't been almost certain it'd have got me arrested) and rolled around a bit on the grass until something spikey stuck in my hair, I regarded the object (just a bit of plant) and continued. Nobody actually batted an eyelid - or they might've but I wasn't looking to find out - I was absorbed in enjoying myself, trusting in my urges and my environment - it was truly liberating. Oh how Sark would be proud.

I had little regard for time, I just stayed as long as I felt right to before setting off to leisurely saunter home. I popped into the local store and bought myself a can of fizzy drink and a lucky bag to seal the deal and plonked myself back on the porch to enjoy them both noisily just in time to see the school kids walking home from school. Thoroughly content I got in contact with my friend over here and arranged to go out for a beer later in the night feeling an element of debauchery but fantastically so that I could have the best of both adult and child world.

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