Well my dah-lings - things have not exactly been the best for a while now (to say the least). I am - I think what the expression would deem as- "up shit creek without ones paddle".
There were several of those icing on the cake moments today; I happened to cover my favourite vintage lace dress in acrylic paint, my beloved soup at college was mushroom flavoured so I had to pass - and then the meal I did have I later ceremoniously vomited - rather gutted to lose my one decent free solid meal of the day to the porcelain telephone, my ceiling still wasn't fixed today (despite being promised it would be), my bedroom bulb has blown etc etc.
Now I am not going to sit here and write a long self indulgent and self pitying rant (okay maybe there may be hints of that) but I am rather at my wits end with reagards to having no money - desperately chasing around finding ways of getting an overdraft or a credit card or something (I am completely useless when it comes to financial know how - I only know how to spend money). With muchas gracias to being raped by the bank for overdraft fees I now am (without any humour) overdrawn again with no money coming in for a while and even when it does it's not going to cover the rent or bills, I have no food (save two tins of tuna fish and a packet of dried cous cous) and basically not much to survive on. Except I've realised I've got much more nourishment in my life from other sources.
I really hit a brick wall when I got in my room tonight - I am not a crier by nature but I had to have a good boo tonight - munching away on (stolen from housemate) toast with (stolen from housemate) maple syrup I seemed to just crack up. The taste of maple syrup reminds me far too much of Canada and I'm pining for a nice simple life of being young and careless and living with Mummy dearest - where I am fed bountiful amounts (aka till I can't move) on her home cooking and my roof over my head is taken care of by someone else's salary. ... I'll never ever take my blessed upbringing for granted again! Anyway I digress ... I got in had a good weep on my toast feeling magnificently sorry for myself to The Carpenters especially at realising that I didn't actually have enough money to top myself (now THAT'S tragic) and sent a little message to the little star in my world - generally moping and feeling sorry for myself and detailing to her how crap life is. Being the wonderful friend that she is she replied and verbally kissed better all my scrapes and bruises.
I'd really got myself into a knot this evening as things have built up over the week but her messages just brought home to me that I could have absolutely nothing but I'll always be stupendously rich in that fact that I am so so blessed to have such wonderful caring friends around me. I've been offered financial help left right and centre, listening ears, cheering up and constantly being told that people are here for me but there needs to be an especially-special thanks my one little star who has put up with me being a human cabbage this week. I know that I'll be okay because I am warmly encircled by beautiful people to whom I am so lucky to have care about me. I might be poor fiscally but I'm more than the wealthiest woman alive when it comes to richness of friendship.